Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
On a good note, I think I've broken my butter addiction. I could go thru more than a pound of butter a week. Heck, I could bake deserts with butter and slather more on and poof a pound is gone in no time. I have bought vegan margine which is ok, a bit on the salty side I think, but ok.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I know I shall be shunned… but I had a brownie last night. Everyone else was eating tasty treats and there was absolutely nothing vegan on the menu save for salad. And c'mon, everyone's eating cheesecake and chocolate chip cookies, I'm not having a salad. So I had a brownie, and it was a serious disappointment. I wanted gooey chocolate. This was more like a dense cake. Tomorrow is the farmer's market in the town where I work. I really hope they have vegan brownies again!
My "no coffee" experiment was a complete failure. I'm only drinking 2 cups a day, so that is a good thing but I can't seem to quit meat and coffee at the same time. I have brought in soy milk and soy creamer for my coffee but I have been using the occasional coffeemate creamer. I figure the boatloads of chemicals counteracts the "sodium caseinate (a milk derivative - not a source of lactose)" that's listed on the ingredients list.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
It’s sort of amusing that my brain is resistant to acknowledging that butter is an animal product. I adore butter – the creamy tastiness with a hint of salt and the richness it imparts to baked goods. Whew! That’s some good stuff. I could go thru sticks of butter at a time… So with these business meetings this week, I’ve been scanning the buffet tables like a vegan cyborg flipping to the basic ingredients list in my head.
Boop boop boop… processing
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT – Milk product detected!
Woooo wooo woooo – Animal product free!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT – Eggs detected!
PPPPPFFFFT – Need more data
Doesnotcompute doesnotcompute doesnotcompute
I can pick out the possibility of hidden milk or eggs but I seem to have a total brain fart about the existence of butter. I mean butter is the main ingredient of croissants. You can’t have a croissant without butter. I can immediately discern that croissants do not contain eggs, but I miss the butter issue. So I walk into the kitchen and spy the lovely breakfast spread this morning. I pass by the sliver platter with the croissants on them on my way to the coffee pot, which is setting next to a tray of sausage and egg casserole, and mini muffins with pots of yogurts plopped here and there. As soon as I see the croissants I say to myself “well, I can’t have the muffins, the egg thing or the yogurt, but wow, croissants! They don’t have eggs in them, I’ll have one of those!” HELLO BRAIN what are you thinking. It didn’t even register until I got my coffee that croissants have butter. Thankfully, they also had a box of granola bars so I happily snagged some fruit and a granola bar (Every time I head to the kitchen, I scoop another bar into my pocket so that I have a mini stash. Shhh don’t tell)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
OK, let me say this first, I didn’t ask before hand about vegan food options so I really shouldn’t complain that there weren’t very many options for me. Remember, this was a whim decision? So no one at the office really knows about it. And I don’t want to make a fuss.
Today’s breakfast spread consisted of: Trix yogurt (I am not kidding, they served TRIX yogurt to the top VPs and Directors of a 100million dollar company), little plastic bowls of breakfast cereals, granola (for the Trix yogurt?), sad looking mini muffins, and watery fruit salad that obviously had been sitting around since the kitchen staff cut it last night. The fruit salad is the obvious vegan choice but I didn’t want to go there. Green tinged canatoupe swimming in mysterious fruit fluid is just a turn off. The muffins and the yogurt are out, so that left the cups of breakfast cereal. I could have made a fuss to see if they had soy milk but I decided to get in touch with my inner pre-schooler and munch on Cheerios straight from the box. It was kind of fun sitting thru boring financial projections while playing with my food.
I thankfully had a priority rush job and skipped the lunch at the hotel so I could indulge in yet another obento from home (I <3>
Dinner will have to be something quick and filling. I am meeting with friends at a coffee shop that has killer cheesecake and fluffy desserts. I was there last night and let me tell you, it was most difficult to walk away from the counter without a treat. Left me wondering if biscotti had eggs in it (I don’t think so) but it most certainly has butter.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
So what are vegan quickie food options? (if any pro-vegan can help this amateur with ideas, let me know!)
Dump some leaves on a plate, splash on some vinaigrette and you’re good to go right? That’s certainly a quick option if you’re not chopping ingredients. I have some concerns about falling in to the ease of the salad bowl. While a nice salad can be a dieters friend, its not exactly up there on the nutritional level. No protein. Its all fiber and some minerals. Salads should be a frequent guest star on your table, but not the featured actor. Oh yeah, and while salad might be easy to toss on your plate, you do kind of need a plate and some time, not a food for eating on the go.
I adore hummus, but as we all know, its tres high in the fat content. And again, you can’t live off hummus alone.
I like veggie burgers. They’re quick, tasty albeit a bit dry. They were my go to option back in the vegetarian days. I’m sure most brands are vegan, but I haven’t looked to make sure. OH Garden Burger has these “Veggie Ribblets” that were quite tasty tho pricy at like 4 bucks for two servings, but they did a pretty good job of easing the need for BBQ when I started this adventure. And Boca has these meatless Italian sausage that are not bad.
I think I might have to do a cooking marathon this weekend, some muffins, bread, some beans or something and have a good stash of freezer items so I don’t have to look dejected into a bowl of cereal every night.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Then there was the coffee break. Of course only cream for the coffee. That's a serious disappointment...
Side bar - I was out and about over the weekend and desperatly wanted coffee. There are few things as tasty and comforting as a large coffee light and sweet. I pulled into duncan donuts and then realized, I had never heard of DD using soy milk. Slighty dejected I pulled out and went home to make a soy latte.
So no coffee with the coffee break, tea instead. Then I spied the devil itself - cookies. Saucer sized plump chocolate chip, chocolate chocolate chip, which chocolate chip and peanut butter. Quick scan of the ingredient list in my head for cookies and they would certainly not be vegan. Ok they could have been made with shortening, but I doubt it. They had the look of butter about them. So I resisted. Not even tempted really.
So I survived a business lunch.
My monthly tech meeting-cum-wing-and-pizza fest will be super tough. I scanned our prefered resturant's menu and I'm pretty sure everything has meat, cheese or butter in it. I'll either have to order a salad (sans cheese) or bring something from home. Le sigh. I'm tough, I can resist the pizza.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Hot apple crumble with fresh whipped cream in the office kitchen. We start work here at 8am, so someone was up before 6, I’m presuming, making the apple crumble. I can pass the crumble by. Apple desserts are not my all-time favoritest. However, I did win a blue ribbon for my apple bars. But whipped cream is a tough one for me. I’ve been racking my brains to think of a vegan substitute. This might be one of those things that I have as a non vegan treat from time to time.
You know, when you start thinking about something, the topic seems to follow you everywhere. Like if you start thinking you want to buy a VW Beetle, you suddenly see them all over town. Well, vegan topics are coming up everywhere. I read a couple of blogs a day on something vegan or vegetarian or how meat consumption is just bad for you and the environment. And now Macrobiotics are starting to pop up.
Macrobiotic eating is more of a philosophy than anything else and while its interesting to read about, I don’t know if I really have the bandwidth to go “wholehog”. Losing weight and doing the vegan thing really take up enough of my brain power that I don’t have much room for anything else. Macrobiotics is like full contact eating and cooking and honestly, I just don’t have the room in my life to go that crazy.
I was up a little after 6:30 this morning (and I was NOT baking apple crisp). The pupster had some ants in her pants apparently and using my tummy as a spring board. Yes, I did go to bed earlier because I was exhausted and yes, I did want to wake up earlier, but NOT because a fussy puppy was tapdancing on my guts.
I managed to slap on my sneakers and go for a leisurely mile walk. I need to kick this whole exercise thing up a few hundred notches. The period thing waylaid me this week but I’ll bounce right back this weekend. I might even hit the gym (gasp).
Thursday, September 11, 2008
All hail the farmers market
The town where I work has a little “farmers’ market” on Thursdays. I say “farmers’” with those “air quote” because there are only a couple veggie stands and the rest are crappy crafts. I try and pop in and pick up veggies, but by Thursdays my brain is mush and I often forget. But I went today, and there was a stall selling Vegan BROWNIES. Huge squishy black brownies. I bought two and they were good. Actually I think I have a bit of a brownie-hangover. But that’s ok, it totally hit the spot. I should have snagged a business card. The “farmers’” market might be done with for the season. Good thing because I’m not sure the diet plan will work with a standing supply of vegan brownies.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
It is that time of the month.
Apparently I don’t know how to use a calendar correctly. I always seem to start a weight loss adventure just before I get my period. Not a smart move. On top of the normal bloated weight gain, there’s the crappy feeling that makes you not want to exercise and the crappy feeling that makes you want to eat everything in site. And then there is that generally crappy feeling. So I’m all fired up for a few days, then blindsided by my uterus and fuck up royally and eat half a cheesecake and figure since I already fucked up and I’m feeling crappy because my uterus is attacking so I might as well eat the other half of the cheesecake and wash it down with a couple pints of ice cream. This vegan thing puts a serious cramp in that plan. I can’t really think of a single comfort food that is vegan. I suppose I can make vegan frosting which is really just shortening and sugar, but I need the cake to go with it. Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World will have to join my library.
The Bagel Fairy switched it up and brought in donuts today. (I was listening to a clip on NPR last night where they were doing a story on bagels, or was it donuts, where a child referred to donuts as “candy bagels”. How awesome is that). I’m happy to report; I was not tempted in the least to scarf up a candy bagel. I don’t know what donuts are made off, but I’m presuming that they have at least eggs in the batter, probably milk too.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I’m kind of tired, and I’m kind of grouchy. I was ready for bed at like 9:30 last night but of course I found something to entertain myself with and didn’t go to be till well after midnight. Which of course means I got up late. I did manage to have a hemp shake for breakfast. I really need to get on an earlier sleep schedule. I’m all out of it.
I’m not a super fan of drinking my calories. I did a Slimfast stint once. Protein shakes do have their place however. I like the Kashi shake mix but haven’t been able to find that lately. I have a gianormous bottle of rice protein powder. It has a bit of a chalky aftertaste that I don’t really enjoy. I’ve tried using it to up the protein of things like oatmeal and muffins and have been very disappointed by the results. But then I found this hemp shake by Nutiva. Not only does it have a nice high dose of protein, it is fiberlicious.
Goodness me, I could kill for some chocolate right now. Creamy, melt in your mouth milk chocolate. But alas, milk chocolate is not vegan.
Note to self: Decaf coffee with soy creamer does not satisfy chocolate cravings.
Yeah, Still want the chocolates.
No it is not that time of the month
Monday, September 8, 2008
Oh yah. There will probably be a hate-filled-coffee-free-cranky rant this week. I’m a junkie, what can I say.
So I walk in today, and lo-and-behold, there is a bucket of home grown tomatoes and a banana bread and a pumpkin cake. I filled my coffee cup and picked up the knife, as I have almost every day the Baked Goods Fairy came to visit… Just as the knife was descending, the rolodex in my sans-coffee brain finally flipped to “Banana Bread” and with a mental “Whoa Nellie!” I put the knife down. Sadly, banana bread and pumpkin cake at the very least contain eggs (NOT vegan), milk (NOPE), and butter (oh how I love you non-vegan butter). I was able to walk away without even a pang of sadness or regret.
I was able to wake up this morning with just enough time to eat a bowl of cereal. I want to try and wake up even earlier and get in a quick mile jaunt before work. Not impossible, but will take a little dedication to get up a half hour earlier. I’m just not grooving on the mornings right now much perfering to stay all cuddled up.
For lunch today, I brought an obento (but I think I forgot my chopsticks!), with brown rice, the mini tofu burgers and tofu shumai. Here’s a lesson in having the proper tools for the job. I don’t have a steamer basket so I decided to do the “pan steam” that you would when you make gyoza. The shumai came out fine with crispy bottoms, but steaming would have been better. Oh and there’s some broccoli in there too. I have enough tofu burgers and shumai for 2 maybe 3 lunches this week, but I have TONS of shumai skins left over so I just might make a bunch and freeze them.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Distance: 2.13 mi
Pace: 18:05 min/mi
All hail the mighty Nike+. If you have an iPod Nano, which I do, and a special pair of Nike sneakers, you can get this little device in your shoe that speaks to a plug-in to your Nano and it will record your runs or walks. You press a button and the Nano speaks to you, tell you your distance, pace, all that nerdy nonsense. I find that if I don't have a goal of some sort set, I'll just poop out before I'm done. I'm lazy apparently.
So I took this jaunt to the closet market and was fairly appalled that much choices of food were so slim. This particular store is heavy on its own line of packaged food, and pretty much everything I picked up had milk or dairy of some sort in it. Its not hard to watch what you eat when you can eat very little. I'm not unhappy with my month long Vegan experiment. I think its a good decision but it will not be easy. It will certainly help me kick the vending machine habit at work. There isn't a healthy item in that thing. I think even the token packages of peanuts have M&M like candies in it. Oh yeah, and I made a horrible realization that "Milk" Chocolate, has milk in it. OH the humanity. I'm going to have to find another chocolate source!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Lunch was so filling, I didn't even think about dinner until about 9pm. I wasn't in the mood for anything, and I certainly did not want to cook last night. I had about cup of All Brand with a little bit of sugar and just enough soy milk (vanilla of course) for it to get moist. I know, it's kind of freaky, but I like the healthy crunchy fiber cereals. With a hint of sugar, it's like ginger snaps or animal crackers, just good for you. SparkPeople says I had about 900 calories yesterday. Yah, not so good but I just wasn't hungry.
Today, I slept in a bit and then made a plan for food for the week. I'm going to try a few things out of Veganomicon. I made the "Almesan". Its supposed to be a spinkle when your dish needs somethin' somethin'. I guess it's supposed to resemble parmesan. It's just almonds and lemon zest. I was doubtful that it would be good, but it's mighty tasty and does add that somethin' somethin'. I'm going to make Pasta Della California for dinner this week. I can break the recipie into single serving portions and won't take longer than 20 minutes to make.
I disovered So Delicious Coconut Milk Yogurt. Really good. I wandered around the supermarket and well, going vegan certainly cuts down your options. Almost every processed food has a milk, cheese or meat product in it. Pankcake mix, Doritos, yeah, all that stuff is pretty much off the table now. Not that I'm complining really. Doritos are a self-indulgent treat that I don't need.
I did however find something that could possibly change my life forever. "White Chocolate Wonderful". This is a Peanut Butter blend by Peanut Butter & Co. "Peanut butter blended with sweet white chocoate". It has 180 calories for 2 tablespoons, about on par with regular peanut butter. It's like all the good parts of a peanut butter cup with out the milk. So yes, it is vegan. I will have to limit the number of times my spoon dips in, but it will be good to have on hand when I need that kick of sweet
Again today, I didn't eat very much, the Yogurt, a pear, and then I made pizza. I used Cook's Country's skillet pizza recipe which makes a crispy thin crust pizza. I made it with fresh tomatoes, basil, soy cheese and soy peperoni. Soy cheese? Meh. It wasn't terrible, but I could have just had the pizza without it. I have stuff to make more pizza but I'll probably skip the soy cheese and pepperoni. It just didn't add anything to the experience. I did sprikle on some Almesan which upped the flavor. I might try some tofu ricotta and pesto soon.
Friday, September 5, 2008
And here I learn the first lesson in managing a slightly finicky food philosophy – Be Prepared! I can here my Girl Scout Leaders voice echoing in my head.
You see, my morning sort of went like this – Turn my face to the cool breeze of my fan, while snuggled under blankies when I become faintly aware of a buzzin in the background, not to realize that buzzin is my BACKUP alarm that’s been going off for 20 minutes. Those lovely cool breezes generated by my huge fan that sits right next to my head generates a hefty dose of “white noise” that blocked out my alarm. Yeah, that’s the ticket, white noise (air quotes) and not the fact I didn’t go to bed till 1am.
So in a mild frenzy, I showered, dressed, walked Monster and headed out the door, ducking back in to get my obento, getting to the end of the driveway before heading back for my work ID and then getting to the end of the block before having to go back for my iPod.
Yah, so see, it was THAT kind of morning… which means, sadly… no breakfast.
I am headoverheels for Kashi’s GoLean. I love the stuff. I easily eat it for desert like snacks, and lordy, the fiber and protein in those little pellets and twigs is glorious. Monster agrees that the twigs are super tasty. But on a THAT kind of morning, tasty twigs do not even hit my radar.
I was lucky (or unlucky depending on your opinion) that the Bagel Fairy visited work this morning. I grab my ‘joe (one does not consider giving up caffeine on THAT kind of morning) and popped a bagel in the toaster. Sadly, it was not till I had finished the first slice that the following thought train made it into my foggy brain station:
Yah, as I said, I know butter is not vegan. I however made up for that with a tasty vegan bento.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I think weight loss and getting fit is 80% experimentation. You need to learn what works for you and what will sending you crashing into a bowl of guacamole faster than you can scream “Butter! STAT!”. For some people, things like Jenny Craig work very well – you just pick a box and you don’t have to worry about mashing together a healthy meal on your own. Slimfast is good if you don’t mind drinking your meals. Weight Watchers can work if you like group therapy and counting. I know some things that don’t work for me. I get board with eating the same thing, which leads me to be lazy which leads me to not want to cook, which leads me to eat out, which leads me to “well, I already fucked up so what difference does a pint of ice cream make.”
So I’m going to experiment with different things to play up my strengths and downplay my weaknesses.
September’s experiment is Vegan.
My carnivore habits have flip-flopped all over the spectrum. I can remember not liking steak as a child because it was squishy. I quickly conquered that phobia (although texture and “mouthfeel” are still very important to me) to be your classic suburban meat-and-potatoes kind of gal. Then I went overseas and rarely eat beef, but inhaled as much pork and fish as was possible. Then I went from being mostly a vegetarian (exceptions were made for bacon, because, c’mon, it’s bacon, can you blame me?) to doing the Atkins program. I did lose 40lbs fairly quickly but of course put it back on when my old lover, the Baguette, came back into my life. I was mostly vegetarian, eating very little chicken and some shrimp (and of course the bacon) until I moved in with the Ex.
Now, I know I just said in the above post that I wasn’t going to Ex-bash, and this is no way meant to be an excuse, but the Ex totally fucked with my food habits. Yeah, I was present, I let it happen, I let his food preferences and this pathetic need to appease and please him shift my fundamental ideas about food and eating. For god sakes, I bought, made and consumed INSTANT MASHED POTATOES! I’m a food snob when it comes to my potatoes. I’ll bring my own bag of spuds to family events rather than risk the instant nonsense. The Ex’s diet consisted of almost all processed foods from frozen burritos’ to pizza. This is what he shopped for, what he bought, and what he ate. Perhaps he’s trying to embalm himself with preservatives before death. Anyhooo, lost in this sea of processed crap, the weight piled on and on and on.
I also realized the other day that I ate because I felt empty. He made me feel so alone and empty that only food gave me that false sense of fullness. Now mind you, I didn’t realize that’s what was going on because I snowed myself into believing the myth of the happily-ever-after with this nutjob.
This “empty” realization was the first kick in the ass to move me forward. The second, yes I know this is still Ex related, was that I allowed myself to fundamentally change core beliefs and behavior patters to please this meathead. I let him stomp out and kill the bubbly, vivacious part of myself. And it is high time I claimed that all back. I was mostly vegetarian before I met him, it is time to go back to the motherland.
“Vegan cleanse” programs are all the rage right now thanks to the Oprah influence. To be honest, I’m not really opposed to the raising and consumption of animals. I like leather, and don’t see myself giving up leather shoes and accessories anytime soon. Yes, I know that is very selfish that I would let animals suffer for my shoes, but that’s where I am right now. However, I’m not finding meat very tasty right now. I’ve had terrible run-ins with “enhanced” meat products that have been soaked in or injected with saline solutions to plump them and make them tastier (well, tastier to someone I guess). I cooked some enhanced chicken breasts and it gritty like saw dust in my mouth. I don’t eat a ton of meat right now, so that will not be difficult to forge.
Dairy will be tricky.
I -heart- cheese. And cream, and butter. Oh butter. I could literally eat it with a spoon. Butter does almost any food good. I don’t know if I can give up dairy for life, a month will be a challenge. I’ll introduce it back and then decide if the love affair will continue. I just have to keep reminding myself that the main function of diary is to make a calf gain 250lbs in a year. YIKES.
So no dairy, no meat, no processed foods in September. After a few days I might be brave enough to include coffee in that, but I’m not quite ready to go there yet.
Rule #1: ZERO NEGATIVITY.
I don’t care if you feel like crap and you hate everything in this world, your hamster died and your best friend is sleeping with your husband, negative words will not come out of your mouth. From this day forward you will not utter bad things about your self, ever. I mean EVER. Play goodcop/badcop with yourself if you must and make sure the good cop wins! Even if it feels like a lie, counter each negative with a positive.
248lbs – 50 to go!
Fitness, dieting and weight loss has been something I’ve read about for years. I have tons of diet books (yes, we are all desperate for the magic bullet to the firm bum). I’ve tried a lot of different things, from Atkins to SlimFast. And as god is my witness, the only thing that has kept me from anorexia is my foodie/gourmet obsession, and the only thing that has kept me from bulimia is the fact that I can’t physically make myself throw up.
After walking out of the Ex’s house, I started Weight Watchers. That worked for a bit but I couldn't see the sense in paying someone $10 a week to step on the scale. People claim its the accountability that helps keep them focused. Well, That didn't work so much for me. The program is too generalized. It doesn't speak exactly to the issues I need addressed.
I flip through diet books and fitness websites constantly hoping that on the very next page I'll find the exact words, the exact program that will magically make this simple as pie. But that's not going to happen. So, that's when I came up with the idea for 50in100. Since I can't find the motivational diet book that I really need, I'm going to have to write it. Since I can't find the external motivation, I'll have to provide it myself. This will be part how-to, part memoir and hopefully with contain very little Ex-bashing.