Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! The lofty Croissant is not vegan.
It’s sort of amusing that my brain is resistant to acknowledging that butter is an animal product. I adore butter – the creamy tastiness with a hint of salt and the richness it imparts to baked goods. Whew! That’s some good stuff. I could go thru sticks of butter at a time… So with these business meetings this week, I’ve been scanning the buffet tables like a vegan cyborg flipping to the basic ingredients list in my head.
Boop boop boop… processing
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT – Milk product detected!
Woooo wooo woooo – Animal product free!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT – Eggs detected!
PPPPPFFFFT – Need more data
Doesnotcompute doesnotcompute doesnotcompute
I can pick out the possibility of hidden milk or eggs but I seem to have a total brain fart about the existence of butter. I mean butter is the main ingredient of croissants. You can’t have a croissant without butter. I can immediately discern that croissants do not contain eggs, but I miss the butter issue. So I walk into the kitchen and spy the lovely breakfast spread this morning. I pass by the sliver platter with the croissants on them on my way to the coffee pot, which is setting next to a tray of sausage and egg casserole, and mini muffins with pots of yogurts plopped here and there. As soon as I see the croissants I say to myself “well, I can’t have the muffins, the egg thing or the yogurt, but wow, croissants! They don’t have eggs in them, I’ll have one of those!” HELLO BRAIN what are you thinking. It didn’t even register until I got my coffee that croissants have butter. Thankfully, they also had a box of granola bars so I happily snagged some fruit and a granola bar (Every time I head to the kitchen, I scoop another bar into my pocket so that I have a mini stash. Shhh don’t tell)